I'm so sorry for your loss Laine! There's no doubt covid can be a nasty b*stard!!
We each have to decide on our own comfort level as far as living with this virus - I don't really believe that it is ever going to go away completely. It will always be with us - probably ebbing and flowing as other endemic viruses do. We cancelled our cruise because of the increased testing requirements Puerto Rico has put in place - we would each have had to test 3 times to go on this cruise. At a cost of $130 for each test, that's almost more than I paid for the cruise itself. I already have my travel agent ready to book a February cruise out of Tampa that goes to Mexico rather than the Caribbean. Just waiting for the cruise credit voucher to come through. Even before all this, cruise ship staff were cleaning all the time and personally I don't feel at any more risk that I would at most retail establishments.
I'm absolutely not trying to minimize your experience and feelings! Like I said, we each need to figure out our comfort level and do the best we can. I prefer making my own decision rather than having the cruise companies cancelling everything though - no one has to book them and if no one does, well, they'll figure out that maybe they need to scale back their schedules or something.
I hope you are able to get the FCC with no hassle - the last email I got from Royal Caribbean about the increased testing requirements said right on it that if these changes made me not want to cruise or want to reschedule to just call. We're getting an refund of the taxes/fees and the credit is just for the basic cruise fare. So like $650 credit, $225 taxes, etc.